In 2020, the tumultuous year, sex is still an awkward and sensitive conversational topic. One that leaves people feeling embarrassed, vulnerable, and even inadequate.
As the world celebrates the unofficial National Sex Day, I can’t help but notice that as women practise social distancing to not expose themselves to the novel Coronavirus Disease [COVID-19]; some continue to distance themselves from the girl gang sexual talks to not expose their desires.
Whilst sex is not something one can ignore, as it’s evidently portrayed in movies, music videos, advertisements, books, games, and the list goes on. Females still get a little tongue-tied when the topic arises. As girlfriends, we sit and talk about all things women – fashion, career, family, lifestyle, but not sex.
Ok, fine!!! I don’t need to have a discussion with my friends about my sex life! However, there are those females who still find it difficult to have an open and honest conversation with their partner and even male counterparts about sex. So then, what’s the real issue here?
20/40 Exchange had a chat with Sexologist and Khloe Rae’s Blogger, Deana-Rae Clayton about sex still being an uncomfortable conversation to have by women, even though we now live in a society where sex stares us in the face on a daily basis.
20/40 Exchange: Would you agree that there are still women out there who find it very uncomfortable to talk about sex and their sexual desires? Why is this so?
Deana-Rae Clayton: Most certainly! I believe that there are still women out there that are uncomfortable and there will always be someone unless women decide to empower themselves and not continue to be brainwashed by society and traditions.
Over the years we have seen the evolution of sex in its many different forms and that alone should prompt women and people, in general, to be more open and honest about what they do, like to try or want to learn sexually. Because of this women are more concerned about what someone will think rather than what their vagina is feeling when deprived of a good orgasm. There are so many other ways and forms of sex we can indulge in that will provide pleasure but because it’s not “vanilla” some women hold back. This can be detrimental in many ways, for example, if you marry a man on different sexual levels than you are, it’s more likely that cheating will forever find a place in that relationship because of the lack of communication re what you desire or would like to try. It may just be the very thing needed to spice up your sex life.
20/40 Exchange: What inspired you to start Khloerae.com?
Deana-Rae Clayton: Initially, the blog was to be about Intimacy, Lifestyle, and Food. Three areas I thought everyone could relate to seeing the blog would be on a local and international level. However, I realize based on the analytics that the market gravitated towards the intimacy topics more and I was more appreciated for those areas. My inspiration, however, comes from listening to the issues of friends and colleagues. It is then that I decided to start the blog to educate and re-educate women [and men] on how they can be more intimate with themselves and each other.
20/40 Exchange: How can your blog help women enhance their sex life and be more open about their sexual desires?
Deana-Rae Clayon: The posts I write are not a list of things I get from the internet but things I would have had the first-hand experience in so the way I write, persons are able to relate to or place their self in the position as they read. It opens up their minds to improving on skills, getting options into finding creative ways to let their partner in on some desires and always have them realize they are not alone and they can start their own”vanilla” series. I think it does help them to be more open because what one realizes in each post is that communication is what is needed in any scenario and communicating doesn’t always have to be with words.